Adult Interactions in EYFS: When to Step In and When to Step Back. A blog by Emma, Founder of Is it Time to Play?
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve wandered over to a child at the painting table and heard myself say, “What are you doing?”
They’re holding a paintbrush. There’s paint on the paper, and almost certainly some on their sleeve. I think we can make a fairly educated guess 😆
But the question gets us in. It gives us a reason to be there. We’re talking to a child, showing an interest and doing something that looks (and, if anyone happens to walk past, sounds) like teaching.
And if you’ve spent any length of time being told how important it is to “extend the learning”, it’s very easy to start feeling that you should arrive at every bit of play with a question ready to go. Ideally one you can jot down as a next step afterwards.
So these days, before I say anything, I try to ask myself one thing first: what is me joining in actually going to add here?
Why are we so quick to jump in?
Most of us go into children’s play with good intentions. We want to build language, introduce ideas, find out what children understand and move their learning on. All good things.
The trouble is how quickly good intentions turn into habits. We ask what they’re making, what colour it is, what they might try next, and sometimes we’re lining up the next question while they’re still answering the first one.
Meanwhile, the child may have been halfway through working something out that we haven’t taken the time to understand yet. Our arrival changes things. They stop to explain themselves, start looking for the answer they think we want, or drop their own idea to follow ours.
Questions absolutely have a place in teaching. Whether they help depends on why we’re asking, when we ask and what we do with whatever comes back.
Julie Fisher’s book title, Interacting or Interfering?, is one I come back to again and again when I’m thinking about this. Is what I’m doing helping this play develop? And how would I actually know?
Start by noticing
Before you join, give yourself a moment to watch. I know that can feel uncomfortable when you’re conscious of everything else that needs doing, but it’s often the most useful thirty seconds of the whole interaction.
Four children at the same painting table, with the same paint and the same brushes, can be doing four completely different things. One is exploring how the colours change as they mix. One is experimenting with how hard to press the brush. One is carefully painting something that matters a great deal to them, and one is simply enjoying the feeling of sweeping paint across a big sheet of paper. Same area, same resources, and the support that would genuinely help looks different for every one of them.
So look at what they repeat, what they change and where their attention keeps going. Listen to what they’re saying. Notice how they use the resources and how they respond to the children around them. You might spot a child trying several ways to solve a problem, a child who clearly wants to join a game but hasn’t found a way in yet, or a child searching for the word that will explain their idea.
This is where I find Notice → Decide → Respond really useful. It gives me a way of thinking through my involvement before I get involved, and while I’m in it.
Notice: what’s going on here?
Start with the child’s purpose. What are they trying to do? What’s caught their interest? Are they absorbed, experimenting, getting frustrated, watching others or inviting someone in?
We won’t always know straight away, and that’s fine. Watching for a little longer often tells us far more than our first question would have done.
Picture a child in the block area trying to balance a plank across two towers. It falls. They pick it up and try again.
Every teacher instinct you have will want to step in and fix it. Hold off for a moment and watch what they do next. They might move the towers closer together, shift where the plank sits, or rope in a friend to hold one end.
That tells you an awful lot about the thinking already happening. It also helps you tell the difference between a child who is working through a challenge and a child who needs some support to keep going, and those two children need very different things from you.
(It’s also, incidentally, the kind of thing that tells you far more about what a child understands than a photo of the finished tower ever will.)
Decide: what could I actually add?
Once you’ve noticed what’s happening, think about what would be useful.
Maybe the child would benefit from a word to help them explain what they’re doing. Maybe modelling a technique would open up a possibility they haven’t spotted yet. Maybe they need a hand negotiating a role in the game.
Or maybe you decide to stay close and give them more time.
I want to dwell on that one, because it can so easily feel like doing nothing, when choosing to wait is a professional decision in its own right. You’re leaving space for an idea, a conversation or another attempt to develop, while staying available if you’re needed. It’s a big part of why I care so much about continuous provision. When it’s set up well, it keeps teaching in the absence of an adult, and sometimes the most useful thing we can do is let it.
That doesn’t mean always holding back. There are plenty of moments when stepping in promptly matters: a child is upset, needs help to join in, or is asking for support. Waiting has to serve the child, and what each child needs will vary.
It’s worth reading whether they want you involved, too. They might hand you a resource, shuffle up to make space beside them, talk to you or pull you into the game. Or they might carry on, completely absorbed, without so much as a glance in your direction. Both tell you something about how, and whether, to approach.
Respond: choose something that fits the moment
A useful response can look like lots of different things.
Comment on what you notice
A short comment acknowledges a child’s thinking and offers language without demanding an answer.
“You’re adding more blocks. Your tower’s getting taller.”
“You’ve made long lines and little dabs.”
“That wheel keeps catching on the edge.”
Then pause. The child might reply, show you something or simply carry on. Give them room to respond in their own way, and that includes not responding at all.
Commentary works best when it’s selective. A running narration of everything a child does can crowd them almost as much as a string of questions, and children need space to think and play in between our contributions.
Model alongside them
At the painting table, you might pick up a brush of your own and say, “I need orange for my sun. I’m going to try mixing red and yellow.”
You’re making your thinking visible, showing a possibility and putting language to a process. The child might watch, ask you about it, have a go at mixing colours themselves, or carry on with exactly what they were doing.
That last one matters just as much. What you’ve offered is there if it’s useful to them, and they get to decide whether it is.
Modelling alongside children is one of my favourite ways to introduce techniques, vocabulary and new ways of using familiar resources, because their own ideas get to keep going while you do it.
Join the play
Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is become part of the game.
If you’re invited into the café, be a customer. Listen to how the children have organised it, find out what’s on the menu and how they want you to take part. (And yes, drink the imaginary tea, however many cups it takes.)
From inside the play, you can bring in language and ideas naturally:
“I’d like something warm to drink, please.”
“This bag’s quite heavy. Is there somewhere I can put it?”
“I think we’ve got two customers waiting.”
Then watch how the children respond. What they do with your contributions tells you where to take the conversation, or the play, next.
Model language within the conversation
When a child tells you, “Him falled!”, you can respond naturally: “He fell! He landed right beside the bridge.”
You’ve given them a language model without stopping to correct them, and you’ve stayed with what they actually wanted to tell you. The conversation carries on around their meaning, with plenty of room for more back-and-forth.
Ask a question with a purpose
Questions can be brilliant when they help us understand an idea, think together or explore a problem.
“I wonder how we could stop the water escaping?”
“How could we make room for another person?”
“What do you think will happen if we try that?”
Before you ask, think about whether the question fits what the child is working on, and whether you’re giving them enough time to actually think. An open question can still interrupt if it lands at the wrong moment. Sometimes a comment, a shared action or a pause will do far more.
Keep noticing once you’ve joined
Notice → Decide → Respond keeps going for as long as you’re there.
Once you’ve contributed, watch what happens. Does the child pick up your idea, or add something of their own? Does the conversation grow? Are they still following their own purpose, or have they started waiting for you to direct every step?
That last one is worth looking out for. If children start glancing at you before they make each move, it’s usually a sign to say less.
What you notice helps you adjust. You might offer another model, follow a new idea, or step back so the children can carry on together. Something that was really useful a minute ago might need to change as the play moves on.
Take a breath before you speak
When adult time is stretched (and when isn’t it?), it’s completely understandable to want every interaction to count. That’s exactly what makes us rush in with a question, a challenge or a new idea.
Taking a moment to understand the play first is how we make that time count. We can see what children are already managing on their own, spot where support would make a real difference, and choose a contribution that fits.
So next time you head over to children in provision, try a small pause before you say anything. Watch and listen for a moment, and notice what they’re working on.
Then ask yourself: what would be useful for this child, right now?
That gives your interaction somewhere meaningful to start. And if the answer turns out to be “nothing just yet”, that’s a perfectly good answer too.
If you’d like support putting this thinking into practice, you’ll find resources, training and guidance inside the IITTP Membership to help you make purposeful decisions about provision and your role within it.
And when you’re wondering how that applies to your children, your staffing or your classroom, you can bring those questions too—by email, in the members’ group or at our next Tea & Teach.